How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
