And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When did angry sex become our thing?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
