hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
