do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
