Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
