just tell him i said nine months
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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