based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
