He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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