I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
