Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
