the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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