i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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