Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have tasted many bathrooms
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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