You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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