I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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