just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
