turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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