i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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