and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize