i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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