I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
