Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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