we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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