Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
