You made me cry and you don't even care
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
