I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
