she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
