is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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