somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
