The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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