Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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