Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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