Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
