Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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