I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
