Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
