Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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