I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
