Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize