people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
operation have a gay friend backfired
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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