We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize