UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
