i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
