Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
