I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My ass is underappreciated
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize