So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
