mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
