I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
