I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
