Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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