Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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