The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
