Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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