Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
