oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
