her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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