Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
