I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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