you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Im part way to drunk.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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