dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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