my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
they need to just BURY HIM!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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