you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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