I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize