i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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